Stop Domestic Violence
A CAUSE TO ACT
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Stanko trial updates
Stanko trial updates
Stephen Stanko will address the jury...
Greg Hembree warns the performance will be "THE performance of his long, horrible career".
One that he wouldn't take on under the scrutiny of state's cross examination...
There was a look of sadness and shame that I glimpsed in court yesterday; one has to wonder
if it is that he is facing is "final act" or does he really know what he has done to so many people
and some part of him does understand the totality of it all...
In such cases as this, all we can do is face the fact that we will never know for sure. Calculating,
manipulation and narcissistic characteristics that reveal violent behavior when a person is exposed
for who or what they really are, can only be examined as more of the same when placed in a position
to discuss their behavior.
Remembering that narcissistic characteristics personality disorder is defined as: a condition in which there is an
inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with one's self.
Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:
- Believing that you're better than others
- Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
- Exaggerating your achievements or talents
- Expecting constant praise and admiration
- Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
- Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
- Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
- Taking advantage of others
- Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
- Being jealous of others
- Believing that others are jealous of you
- Trouble keeping healthy relationships
- Setting unrealistic goals
- Being easily hurt and rejected
- Having a fragile self-esteem
- Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional
Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.
Some narcissistic personalities will act out with rage when they feel rejected or threatened.
Stanko's ex-girlfriend says she lived in fear - Local - TheSunNews.com
Stanko's ex-girlfriend says she lived in fear - Local - TheSunNews.com
It's interesting how the media can somehow twist the words and testimonies
not always reporting with accuracy... but this sums it up in a nutshell.
I hear that a Christian counselor of Stephen Stanko's who once was a school teacher
at his middle school, states he is truly remorseful now and has been saved. She doesn't
feel it is "prison religion" but it is indeed salvation.
One can pray that for his sake, it is true. Mr. Turner and Laura Ling didn't have the choice
of life - it was taken from them. May they rest in peace.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Stanko trial punishment phase underway; Check here for the latest
Stanko trial punishment phase underway; Check here for the latest
It was tough; but it is now over.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
4 Years to Life -II
Time is drawing near to this new trial. Every day it seems news reports of this killer's events of the day or how he lives his life behind bars taunt me and prick my core. I say, he is living and two of his victims are no longer allowed to live their lives... He didn't give them a chance to live. So, do we care if he sees the light of day or has the opportunity to see the moon in the evening sky? Why do we want to know if he is allowed to participate in the rehabilitation of prisoners? He isn't - by the way since he is on death row. Yet, we are given this report as it may somehow be important...?
I recall the day he was released from prison after his attack on me and knowing of his extended rap sheet that told of breach of trust, theft, and the list goes on - kidnapping and aggravated assault with intent. Yet, he walked out of prison and within 9 months he had pursued a new life of lies, deception that was so quickly in the works; he was capable of misleading his new victims resulting in murder, rape and a National Media Man-Hunt!
Now, this is not one with a "brain defect" as his defense attorneys would have us believe. It is however the mind of a narcissistic, psychopath that is capable of manipulation and calculating behavior. So much the need in him for praise and admiration that he allows another trial for murder to take place when he should plead guilty and save the people of whom he has harmed beyond his own imagination the pain of enduring this ordeal again! To face him once more, for me is agony. It has been 13 years and 9 months since he turned his violence on me - yet I still live it daily.
I recall the day he was released from prison after his attack on me and knowing of his extended rap sheet that told of breach of trust, theft, and the list goes on - kidnapping and aggravated assault with intent. Yet, he walked out of prison and within 9 months he had pursued a new life of lies, deception that was so quickly in the works; he was capable of misleading his new victims resulting in murder, rape and a National Media Man-Hunt!
Now, this is not one with a "brain defect" as his defense attorneys would have us believe. It is however the mind of a narcissistic, psychopath that is capable of manipulation and calculating behavior. So much the need in him for praise and admiration that he allows another trial for murder to take place when he should plead guilty and save the people of whom he has harmed beyond his own imagination the pain of enduring this ordeal again! To face him once more, for me is agony. It has been 13 years and 9 months since he turned his violence on me - yet I still live it daily.
Narcissistic
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
4 Years to Life
Well, here we are again... it's time for yet another trial of Stanko. It never ceases to amaze me that this man who entered my life in 1992 has made it necessary to remain involved in some way all these years; long after his last attempt to control me. In the manner of control, there are mind games, lies, excessive anger and yes... kindness. Just the same, the abuse can form in many ways. He still takes a piece of life from me it seems each time I have to face the past and explain it in detail to strangers.
He is on trial for the murder of a 74 year old man who in my best estimation had only known him for about 8 months. I knew him for 4 years before he violently attacked me. Many days I find myself asking; "Why am I still here?"
If you feel that your attacker has made the effort to take your life or that of your child and God interceded to foil his plan and lead you (your child) out of harm's way... please add a post and let's discuss the ways we are here by the Grace of God and in that blessing; we should help others.
That is how I believe my life is to move forward. In helping others; we ultimate heal ourselves.
God Bless.
He is on trial for the murder of a 74 year old man who in my best estimation had only known him for about 8 months. I knew him for 4 years before he violently attacked me. Many days I find myself asking; "Why am I still here?"
If you feel that your attacker has made the effort to take your life or that of your child and God interceded to foil his plan and lead you (your child) out of harm's way... please add a post and let's discuss the ways we are here by the Grace of God and in that blessing; we should help others.
That is how I believe my life is to move forward. In helping others; we ultimate heal ourselves.
God Bless.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
A lasting effect
It comes to mind today that once you become the target of someone's violence or domestic abuse of any kind, the effect lives on. Yes, we move forward; taking strides in our "normal" life to take back what sense of ourselves were taken from us without any consideration of the long-term affects.
My own personal incident was in 1996. I have relived it more than once and today, well, I learned that I will relive it again next month. You see, violence doesn't end with us. It may begin with us. If the offender is free, there will be more victims taken and more violent crimes occurring.
To take control; we must ensure punishment to fit the crime is in place for such violence to end.
My attacker only improved his skills while serving time in prison. Two of his other 3 victims are no longer here to tell their story. Therefore, those of us left with a voice must speak out for those whose voice was silenced.
I pray for their peaceful resting and for justice to serve them.
My own personal incident was in 1996. I have relived it more than once and today, well, I learned that I will relive it again next month. You see, violence doesn't end with us. It may begin with us. If the offender is free, there will be more victims taken and more violent crimes occurring.
To take control; we must ensure punishment to fit the crime is in place for such violence to end.
My attacker only improved his skills while serving time in prison. Two of his other 3 victims are no longer here to tell their story. Therefore, those of us left with a voice must speak out for those whose voice was silenced.
I pray for their peaceful resting and for justice to serve them.
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