Domestic Violence does not discriminate. It is not gender, race or age specific.
This said, if you or someone you know is in a relationship that is abusive, take action to get out of the situation as quickly as possible.  No, I do not believe it is necessary to "talk" to the abuser about leaving or plans to leave. That can only infuriate and ignite harsher abuse and can become the very thing that stops you from taking action to leave the relationship.

I have posted about the denial, self-denial and denial of others regarding abuse. For some, it is easier to ignore if signs of abuse are obvious; even visible. But abuse is not something to be ashamed of if you are the abused. It is something that requires a safety net and self-preservation action. Confiding in trusted loved ones, friends or even public officials and counselors will help to prepare the abused in removing themselves from the situation.

During the series of emotional abuse, there are rarely visible signs. It is unlike physical abuse where bruises, marks and even broken bones are obvious...emotional suffering is most often hidden from friends and family. The abused can learn to conceal their true emotional disturbances, can learn to create a false lifestyle by acting as if all is well when inside they are becoming weak and insecure.

During the series of physical abuse, the abused becomes dependent on the abuser when in fact, they should escape the abuser. The reason for dependency in some cases is due to the fear or the hope that the abuser will stop if the abused behaves differently, becomes more loving towards the abuser or just leans on the abuser for security. All of which are false security and rarely if ever eliminates the abuse. The abuser begins to feel more powerful and usually will act more violently towards the abused.

Don't be a victim. Step out of the situation and see it for the reality it is. Get out of the situation as soon as you can safely do so and stay away from the abuser to ensure continued safety. In most cases when the abused returns to the abuser after having previously gotten out of the situation, the likeliness of increased abuse and death occurs.

I would like to find more support for all abused; children, women and men alike to ensure they have a safe haven to escape from all manners of abuse.

Domestic violence is something that can be stopped when respect for humanity exists.

Stanko loses appeal and more Jodi Arias / Murder Cases

Stephen Stanko loses appeal for 2nd Murder Conviction
Read the news about Stanko's loss on 2nd appeal

Realizing it is the right of the convicted criminal to go through the appeals process, that right seems to
be a bitter reminder of how the victims had their rights taken from them by this very criminal who is exercising every last right he has.
In an effort to stop domestic violence, stalking and all acts of crime - against all people and animals...
the punishment should be swift and harsh.  Somehow we seem to protect the criminals in a way that is unsettling.  However it is our judicial system and the process in place allows for due diligence in all means of punishment.

I remain conflicted about our court process, the media hype that surrounds most of the high profile cases and the reason we are all so in tune to the goings on in these cases.

Admittedly, I am one of those folks who listen and follow with careful attention to all the details. Quickly pointing out when some media personality gets it wrong.  Ratings and high-energy discussions take over the real facts that are revealed in court.  When we realize that all of us are tuning into the same  information and somehow walking away with a different perspective is amazing to me.  That is how the jury responds also...everyone with their own individual take on the case facts as delivered by state and defense.

So, it seems that we will all go on with our opinions and judgements, followed by our conclusions...only to be angered if the outcome of these trials are not what we decided they should be.

In this case of Stephen Stanko (one that is very personal to me) and that of many high profile cases such as Scott Peterson (Lacy Peterson murder), Drew Peterson (Kathleen Savio murder), Casey Anthony (Caylee Anthony murder) and Jodi Arias (Travis Alexander murder) - as well as the infamous O.J. Simpson (Nicole Brown Simpson/Ron Goldman murders) we continue to agree to disagree with the decisions by the juries and the process of the cases in court and in the early investigative processes.

To err is human for sure.

Fight Abuse against Women, Children...Everyone

It's been a while since my last post and yet I regret the news continues to reveal the staggering reality of violence in our society. There are women disappearing, being abused both mentally and physically, murdered women and children and sadly... we are far from stopping this terrible crime and enforcing the laws that take these violent criminals off the streets.
Our victims suffer greatly. Most times, the victims lose their lives to the hands of these attackers, predators, lovers and yes, even parents. What can be done to solve this increasing problem? We can take a stand against these criminals by electing our politicians that have plans to fight and stop violence in our individual counties, states and ultimately in our Country. We must stop this on a global level. It starts by being observant and keeping a watchful eye in our communities.
What an accomplishment if we can stop one woman and child from falling victim to these violent crimes...one saved a day will make a huge difference in our society.
Check the laws in your state and ask your legislators to improve the system wherever possible to ensure violence against women and children is stopped and justice against those who prey on women & children are punished to the fullest extent of the law.

BREAKING: Stanko sentenced to death

BREAKING: Stanko sentenced to death

Stanko apologizes to family, tells jury 'My best case scenario is life in prison' - Breaking News - TheSunNews.com

Stanko apologizes to family, tells jury 'My best case scenario is life in prison' - Breaking News - TheSunNews.com

Stanko trial updates

Stanko trial updates Stephen Stanko will address the jury... Greg Hembree warns the performance will be "THE performance of his long, horrible career". One that he wouldn't take on under the scrutiny of state's cross examination... There was a look of sadness and shame that I glimpsed in court yesterday; one has to wonder if it is that he is facing is "final act" or does he really know what he has done to so many people and some part of him does understand the totality of it all... In such cases as this, all we can do is face the fact that we will never know for sure. Calculating, manipulation and narcissistic characteristics that reveal violent behavior when a person is exposed for who or what they really are, can only be examined as more of the same when placed in a position to discuss their behavior. Remembering that narcissistic characteristics personality disorder is defined as: a condition in which there is an inflated sense of self-importance and an extreme preoccupation with one's self.

Narcissistic personality disorder symptoms may include:

• Believing that you're better than others
• Fantasizing about power, success and attractiveness
• Exaggerating your achievements or talents
• Expecting constant praise and admiration
• Believing that you're special and acting accordingly
• Failing to recognize other people's emotions and feelings
• Expecting others to go along with your ideas and plans
• Taking advantage of others
• Expressing disdain for those you feel are inferior
• Being jealous of others
• Believing that others are jealous of you
• Trouble keeping healthy relationships
• Setting unrealistic goals
• Being easily hurt and rejected
• Having a fragile self-esteem
• Appearing as tough-minded or unemotional

Although some features of narcissistic personality disorder may seem like having confidence or strong self-esteem, it's not the same. Narcissistic personality disorder crosses the border of healthy confidence and self-esteem into thinking so highly of yourself that you put yourself on a pedestal. In contrast, people who have healthy confidence and self-esteem don't value themselves more than they value others.

Some narcissistic personalities will act out with rage when they feel rejected or threatened.

Stanko's ex-girlfriend says she lived in fear - Local - TheSunNews.com

Stanko's ex-girlfriend says she lived in fear - Local - TheSunNews.com It's interesting how the media can somehow twist the words and testimonies not always reporting with accuracy... but this sums it up in a nutshell. I hear that a Christian counselor of Stephen Stanko's who once was a school teacher at his middle school, states he is truly remorseful now and has been saved. She doesn't feel it is "prison religion" but it is indeed salvation. One can pray that for his sake, it is true. Mr. Turner and Laura Ling didn't have the choice of life - it was taken from them. May they rest in peace.